Hello. How are you today?
‘Ow am I, ‘e sez. Ah’m good tank yoo, ah’ve just got in from mah daily rounds on Clapham Common (ah own it, yoo see, ah’ve got the freehold on Clapham Common an’ ahh haff got too doo mah rounds on it everee dae) an’ planted sum noo trees there an’ ah tell yoo wat, it han’t haff tuckered me owt! Ah need a Dr. Pepper now ah fink.
At this stage, how closely does your programme blurb match the content of your show?
Mah programme blurb woz writtin by mah good friend Joz Norris, hoo ah fink has dun a pritty good job, except ‘ee talks a lot about isself in it. Ah probly woulda writtin a bit less about him an’ a bit more about the person who iz in the actual show, which is me, which is a person called a Mr Fruit Salad. But then Joz Norris is an egotist and a shallow, vain little man hoo fink about nuffing but hisself an’ do stoopid things an’ ask too much from hiz frends, so ah am not surprised that hee took the opportunity to make it all about him again.
Who are you sharing a flat with and how will you help each other survive the month?
Ah do not need to share a flat with anyone. Ah will figure out where too stay when ah get there, when you are Mr Fruit Salad you alweez land on yo feet! (If anybody knows of any spare roomz goin, please call me on 124 Mr Fruit Salad Street @ gmail.com
Any shows you’re excited about seeing?
Other than the great shows, what else are you looking forward to about your trip to Edinburgh this year?
Mending mah broken heart. Yoo see, ah used to sing for the King, but ah can never sing again now for mah heart is broken on account of mah foolishness. Every year ah tell mahself “Perhaps this is the year, Mr Fruit Salad, when you will mend your broken heart an’ sing again!” but ah am pritty fucken disappointed in that regard so far, lemme tell YOO!
The Fringe’s tagline this year is ‘Into The Unknown’. What do people not know about you?
Everybody knows all there is to know about Mr Fruit Salad. Ah cannot stand a secret. Ask me no questions I TELL YOO NO LIES. Ah haff never been anything but honest wiv yoo. Look into my eyes. Yoo know exactly hoo ah am an’ why ah am dooin this.
I’m bored of all the podcasts I currently subscribe to. Can you recommend me a good one please?
Avengers: Infinity War
Here’s a space to write about anything you want. Go for it.
HELP ME I’M STILL IN HERE SOMEWHERE AND I CAN’T GET OUT
Joz Norris Has No Show This Year, but Mr Fruit Salad Does
Aug 18-19, 9pm