Regular LOL MC and school administrator Andy Barr was stranded on a tropical island six years. This is that story. It features a lot of paperwork.
Hello. How are you today?
I am alright. I am settling into my administrative job in a secondary school, tucking into my first instant coffee of the day and wondering whether the occasional dull pain behind my ear is indicative of an incoming stroke. (Update – I started responding to these questions a good hour ago and I’ve finished my coffee and not had a stroke)
At this stage, how closely does your programme blurb match the content of your show?
Fairly closely – I, stupidly, gave myself a fairly specific brief to write to. In my show I get marooned on a tropical island. My blurb says that I get rescued, but at this stage I may just decide to stay, marry a crab and start a family.
Have the momentous events of 2016 affected your comedy in any way?
Yes – I decided to set my show on a tropical island to get the hell away from them.
Who are you sharing a flat with this festival and how will you help each other survive the month?
A bunch of Weirdos and a genuine baby – I expect to be looking to the baby for survival tips as the month goes on. I’ll be looking to Adam Larter for tips on how to actually get up and see stuff, but I suspect the solution will be ‘stop drinking’.
Any shows you’re particularly excited about seeing?
I am very excited to see Sean Morley’s Earned Helplessness (15th, 16th in the Hive), all of the Weirdos and, if I can make it, my old dream-group Consignia’s Panopticon which is on at a stupid time in some godawful shithole a few miles out of town. Obviously I am most super stoked to see all of the Aaaaaargh shows.
Other than the great shows, what else are you looking forward to about your trip to Edinburgh this year?
Yet another year of not climbing Arthur’s Seat due to my crippling cynophobia! Full Scottish Breakfasts. Enjoying small quantities of my family drink. Getting ejected from performers’ bars.
What celebrity death hit you the hardest in 2016 (mine was Wogan)?
I think it probably has to be Rickman. A friend of mine has a full sleeve tattoo of Bruce Willis dangling Rickman off the Nakatomi Plaza – I used to laugh at it but now it serves as a poignant reminder of a fine actor.
Here’s a space to write about anything you want. Go for it.
Last year Consignia sent you the entire Unabomber manifesto in order to test the limitations of this section of the Q&A. I’m sad to say that in that instance censorship won. This year I was tempted to try again with the entirety of that 3.5m word Super Smash Brothers fanfic, but I can’t be bothered to copy and paste it, so instead here’s a list of Steven Seagal film titles with character names:
1988 Above the Law – Nico Toscani
1990 Hard to Kill – Mason Storm
1990 Marked for Death – John Hatcher
1991 Out for Justice – Det. Gino Felino
1992 Under Siege – Casey Ryback
1994 On Deadly Ground – Forrest Taft
1995 Under Siege 2: Dark Territory – Casey Ryback
1996 Executive Decision – Lt. Colonel Austin Travis
1996 The Glimmer Man – Lt. Jack Cole
1997 Fire Down Below – Jack Taggart
1998 My Giant – Himself
1998 The Patriot – Dr. Wesley McClaren
1998 Not Even The Trees
2000 Prince of Central Park
2001 The Path Beyond Thought – Himself/Narrator
2001 Exit Wounds – Orin Boyd
2001 Ticker – Frank Glass
2002 Half Past Dead – Sasha Petrosevitch
2003 The Foreigner – Jonathan Cold
2003 Out for a Kill – Prof. Robert Burns
2003 Belly of the Beast – Jake Hopper
2004 Out of Reach – William Lansing
2004 Clementine – Jack Miller
2005 Into the Sun – Travis Hunter
2005 Submerged – Chris Cody
2005 Today You Die – Harlan Banks
2005 Dragon Squad
2005 Black Dawn – Jonathan Cold
2006 Mercenary for Justice – John Seeger
2006 Shadow Man – Jack Foster
2006 Attack Force – Cmdr. Marshall Lawson
2007 Flight of Fury – John Sands
2007 Urban Justice – Simon Ballister
2008 Pistol Whipped – Matt Conlin
2008 The Onion Movie – Cock Puncher
2008 Kill Switch – Jacob King
2009 Against the Dark – Tao
2009 Driven to Kill – Ruslan Drachev
2009 The Keeper – Roland Sallinger
2009 A Dangerous Man – Shane Daniels
2010 Machete – Rogelio Torrez
2010 Sheep Impact – Paul Weland
2010 Born to Raise Hell – Robert “Bobby” Samuels
2012 Maximum Conviction – Cross
2013 Force of Execution – John Alexander
2014 A Good Man – John Alexander
2014 Gutshot Straight – Paulie Trunks
2015 Absolution – John Alexander
2016 Code of Honor – Robert Sikes
2016 Sniper: Special Ops – Jake
2016 The Asian Connection – Gan Sirankiri
2016 Killing Salazar – Harrison
2016 End of a Gun – Decker
2016 Contract to Kill – John Harmon
2016 The Perfect Weapon – The Director
Andy Barr: Tropic of Admin
4-27 Aug, 10.40pm