As has by now become my routine, I am front-rolling merrily down the Royal Mile in my morphsuit, arms outstretched and clutching flyers for all who wish to grasp them, when who should I run into but Sara Shulman, the editor of [Laugh Out London’s biggest rival! – Ed] Comedy Blogedy. “Joz!” she cries, and has to forcibly arrest my momentum because the Mile is one steep road.
I bid her adieu, then remember that that means goodbye, and hastily correct myself. “I’ve just had the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had!” she cries. “Have you ever had a lamp in your room?” I look at her weirdly, and begin to suspect that the Fringe has taken its toll on her sanity, and perhaps I should offer her some words of comfort or support. Then I remember I have flyering to do, and run off, after taking one of my trademark snaps!
“I should go and watch Matthew Highton’s show,” I think to myself. “That would be a good thing to do.” Quick as a flash, I remember I have my own show to be working on and quickly go and perform it. As ever, the audience loves every second and showers me with praise, money and lucrative sponsorship deals. Flushed with pride, I rush over to Whistlebinkies, where Matthew is stood outside, waving his fist angrily and shouting “Norris!” It turns out he has been doing this for the last half hour but was waiting for me to turn up. “Why so serious?” I ask, after going inside for half an hour to apply clown makeup in order to make my reference to The Dark Knight more obvious. Sadly, I find in the time I was away Matthew has gone elsewhere and I have to track him down.
The first person I run into is Adam Larter. “Hi Adam.” I say. “Hi Joz. Why are you wearing clown makeup?” He says. “It’s a long story,” I say. “I might as well ask you why you’re wearing that Bart Simpson hat, I imagine that would be similarly convoluted.” “I just like Bart Simpson,” Adam replied. “Alright, alright, I didn’t ask for your life story,” I chuckled, taking a picture of him in his hat.
Though the search was long, I eventually tracked down Matthew Highton, who had by now teamed up with Mark Stephenson to make a supergroup, or “gang.” It turned out he was so cross because he had read my first Laugh Out London blog and was annoyed that I hadn’t taken any funny pictures of him yet. “Yeah,” said Mark, agreeing. “Okay okay guys. Let’s take the silliest picture of all,” I said, “and I’ll see if I can come up with a funny caption.” Quick as a flash, as if by serendipity, Matt did such a big sneeze that it made Mark shrink by several feet. “Wow,” I cried, taking a picture, “No need for a witty caption for that one – it sells itself!”
This was such a jolly day at the Fringe. I’ll always remember it. Almost as much as I’ll always remember the hilarious moment that night when Stuart Laws tried to punch Jon Brittain in the face later that same evening.
Great, great days. Witty, witty captions
Joz Norris Has Gone Missing
Aug 1 – 25, 2.45pm