In a surprising move, the BBC has recommissioned mildly popular 90s sitcom Game On, but this time to be set in a live volcano. Game On In A Volcano will see Samantha Janus reprise her role as the woman one, while Danny Dyer will play her love interest, Mike Magma. It is rumoured Alan Carr will be a whacky gay friend who eats lava.
Edinburgh has issued a statement saying it isn’t all that bothered about comedy, sending shockwaves throughout the industry ahead of the world famous Edinburgh Fringe Festival. The city, thought to be hundreds of years old but only recently discovered to be sentient, has denounced laughter as a “tool for the elite to keep the fool happy in his place” and said that Stewart Lee was overrated. However, it did say it liked castles and “some of Dave Gorman’s early work where he did all those mad adventures”.
A Laugh Out London survey has discovered that some women are funny, some women aren’t funny, some men are funny and some men aren’t funny. Of the women who aren’t funny, some were found to be quite good at other stuff like banking and chess and it didn’t really matter. The same was true of men. All the funny people then got together and told each other funny jokes. It was well ace.
What is thought to be the oldest ever joke has been found in a cave in France. The painting, which dates from around 1971, involves two cows and Bridgette Bardot. The punchline has unfortunately been lost to weather erosion, although scientists are working round the clock to uncover what it might say. Early thoughts are that it centres around why cows have four stomachs and humans only have one.
Tesco has started a course for stand-up comedians to learn how to use self-checkout machines at its stores. “They’re actually very easy to use,” said Ian Tesco, head of Tesco. “You just get the thing you want to buy, scan it over the red light and put it in the bag. If you have fruit or vegetables, just put it on the scale, press the relevant button, wait for two seconds, then put it in your bag. You can then pay using cash or card. If you need help, there’s always an employee nearby too.” If you’re a stand-up comedian and want to learn how to use self-checkout machines, get in touch with Ian Tesco on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Now, doing a comedy gig when there are children in the audience is never easy, but this young English comedian, Ian Brisckett, suffered more than most when this child got away from its parents.